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From an exceptional 2008 drama about nuns to a well-timed tweet about imposter syndrome; the concept of doubt has filled my mind this week.

My rumination on doubt settled on the reality of how we manage to do anything in a world of obscurity and obfuscation. Every day is an act of faith. Every time we try anything, it is an exercise in confidence. Believing that anything good can come out of anything controllable? That requires faith.

I wrote last week about incompetent confidence. But there is a subtle nuance here. Moving forward in confidence, without acknowledging your own incompetence, typically results in hubris. Moving forward in confidence, in spite of your incompetence, is the reality of living life without omnipotence.

None of us will know everything. Assuming we know everything is a rampant disease that plagues so many of our institutions and role models. But knowing we don’t know everything can paralyze us with indecision. Failing to act because we lack perfect confidence will keep us stationary forever.

“I Have Such Doubts”

I was recently in the blueberry within a bowl of tomato soup that is Austin, Texas. While there for a company offsite, we did a big group gameshow at the Gameshow Battle Room. If you’re ever in Austin with a big group, I highly recommend it.

One of the games we played was basically Family Feud. And one of the questions was to name a movie Meryl Streep had been in. Easy, right? She’s super famous. Wrong. Because you’re not just listing Meryl Streep movies; its movies that people surveyed on the street would list. Once we got past The Devil Wears Prada and Mamma Mia, it was rough. Without hesitation, I answered “Doubt.” You know? The 2008 drama with Meryl Streep, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams, and Viola Davis? The one that got nominated for five Academy Awards? Well, the people in the survey certainly didn’t.

Doubt is originally based on a stage play called Doubt: a Parable. The movie, itself, is a parable. It opens with a priest giving a sermon on doubt, ending with this line:

“Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone.”

Throughout the movie, Meryl Streep plays Sister Aloysius. She suspects the priest of having an inappropriate relationship with a young boy and investigates, pushes, pries, until eventually she fabricates a call to the priest’s former parish, saying she discovered past misdeeds. He resigns. And Aloysius takes that as his confession. But at the end of the movie, she weeps; expressing she has doubts… such doubts!

Does she have doubt in the church? In her accusations? It’s unclear. And both the play and movie never reveal the reality of the situation explicitly, so you’re left with your own doubts. It’s an exceptional parable.

Doubt is an ever-present part of life. You doubt your own optimism, the course of action you’re taking, your worthiness before God, the intentions of others, the trust in the people around you, the unknown unknowns that may be lurking.

Doubt is present in abundance and can consume everything, if given the opportunity.

Doubt is a lake of fire that, despite its fury, can be contained and controlled. Shaped to your will. If only you have the will to do it.

Doubt, left unchecked, is a self-own.

A Self-Own

Jack shared a perspective on the mega-viral X Article about AI. The article was (1) a Rorschach test, hated by AI bears and loved by AI bulls, (2) not very well written, and (3) written by a known AI huckster. But Jack’s takeaway was insightful; just do stuff. Just try. Take a piece like this that has no business being as widely distributed as it was. It’s a perfect example of not letting doubt dictate your life. Because you never know what will succeed!

He emphasizes imposter syndrome as the self-own, but imposter syndrome is really just doubt you’ve let expand beyond nagging in the back of your mind until its become a full-blown belief system. A belief you feel so strongly you feel obligated to hide yourself from those around you.

Here’s the rub. Life is already filled with uncertainty. There are plenty of people who will doubt you. There are countless obstacles that will hedge up your way. So why should you join the party pooping?

I’m writing this as much for me as I am for you (as always). I have a bad case of the negative self talk. So much so that I’m concerned it is already impacting my children. Already my older kids say things when they get frustrated like, “I’m a dummy.” It hurts me. I’ve let that doubt poison them the way it has poisoned me and I have to fix it.

So, for the last few months, I’ve had the same conversation with my kids a half-dozen times. When that doubt-filled self-loathing creeps into their mentality, I make this point: “There are plenty of people who are going to be mean to you throughout your life; you don’t need to pile on by being mean to yourself.”

There is no advantage to doubt. There is no benefit to bemoaning your inadequacy.

Certainly there is nuance (as there always is). Doubt can serve the purpose intellectually that pain serves physically. An early warning sign. “Something is not right,” your brain says. It may drive you to adjust course.

Rather than doubt, I would describe that as analysis. Analyzing the data coming in and how it may be updating your priors. You’ve chosen a strategy. It’s not working. The KPIs aren’t up and to the right. You analyze. You reflect. You decide something is off. You adjust course.

The difference between analysis and doubt? Momentum.

Analyzing still typically requires moving forward. You can’t analyze if you’re not gathering data. You can’t gather data if you’re not doing. Forward momentum is inherent in analysis.

Doubt? Doubt is as stationary as a out of order train station. It’s not going anywhere and neither is anything around it. In fact, doubt is paralyzing. Anything that could move will slow to a crawl. The fear of adverse decision leads to indecision.

But in that paralysis, you have no one to blame but yourself. A self-own. Its not the physical, regulatory, or technical obstacles stopping you. The only thing stopping you is you. It’s an internal assault. It’s opening the back door of your soul and letting the enemy in. Keep doubt outside where it belongs.

Leave Doubt Out

You can be in control of your own doubts. The only doubt you should find acceptable is doubt from without. People will doubt you. Organizations will doubt you. Third parties will doubt you. Creditors will doubt you. Investors, employees, candidates, suppliers, partners, spouses, distant relatives. Everyone may doubt you either always or at some distinct point in time.

Doubt from without is fine. Why? Because it’s not your task. One of the most important books I’ve ever read was The Courage To Be Disliked. In it, the summary takeaway could be that all of your problems are interpersonal problems. And interpersonal problems come from failing to separate tasks.

When considering the doubt from without, we believe that the people doubting you hold the power; it’s their doubt! As the book describes:

“Many people think that the interpersonal relationship cards are held by the other person. That is why they wonder, How does that person feel about me? and end up living in such a way as to satisfy the wishes of other people. But if they can grasp the separation of tasks, they will notice that they are holding all the cards. This is a new way of thinking.”

Your tasks are those things that you are ultimately responsible for the consequences of. Doing your best? Your task. Reacting to your work? Their task. Offering support to your kid doing homework? Your task. Whether the homework gets done? Their task.

I’ve frequently talked about a guiding principle in my life that my Mom taught me: “Prepare for the worst, and expect the best to come from it.”

Can you prepare for the negatives? Absolutely. Do you need to be consumed by the fear of the worst possible outcomes? Absolutely not.

You are in control.

Doubt Your Doubts

I’ll end with a phrase from a man who I believe is a prophet, seer, and revelator alive today, akin to Moses: Dieter F. Uchtdorf. This esteemed former pilot planted a confidence seed in my soul 13 years ago when he said:

“Faith is to hope for things which are not seen but which are true. Therefore, please, my dear brothers and sisters, my dear friends, first doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith.”

I am so sick of feeling doubt. So paralyzed by anxious concern for eventualities that, statistically, will absolutely never matter.

In the paraphrased words of young master Jack Josiah Raines; doubt is a self-own. And there are plenty of people / things / ideas prepped and primed to own me; I’m done owning myself.

Doubt, be gone. There is too much to do.